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The Colbert Report — Season 5

2009 · 161 episodes
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The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 1

1. John King

Episode 1 · 5 Jan 2009

Stephen congratulates John King and the rest of the media on getting Obama elected.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 2

2. Matt Miller

Episode 2 · 6 Jan 2009

Matt Miller says the government must make sure we have basic securities like health care and pensions.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 3

3. Benicio Del Toro

Episode 3 · 7 Jan 2009

Benicio Del Toro talks about meeting Castro to prepare for "Che."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 4

4. Lawrence Lessig

Episode 4 · 8 Jan 2009

Lawrence Lessig says the outdated copyright laws have turned our kids into criminals.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 5

5. Anthony Romero

Episode 5 · 12 Jan 2009

Anthony Romero believes it will be a huge mistake if Barack Obama doesn't close Guantanamo immediately.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 6

6. Niall Ferguson

Episode 6 · 13 Jan 2009

Niall Ferguson explains how money is a relationship between a creditor and a debtor.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 7

7. Alan Khazei

Episode 7 · 14 Jan 2009

Barack Obama may be over-marketed, and Alan Khazei wants Americans to volunteer.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 8

8. David Gregory, Shepard Fairey

Episode 8 · 15 Jan 2009

A look back on President Bush's relationship with the media -- Stephen wonders if tonight's the night they finally do it and Shepard Fairey's "Hope" poster belongs to everyone.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 9

9. Frank Rich

Episode 9 · 19 Jan 2009

Frank Rich says George W. Bush delivers a message of hope for mediocrity.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 10

10. Jabari Asim

Episode 10 · 20 Jan 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Washington Post columnist and author of The N Word: Who Can Say It, Who Shouldn't, and Why, Jabari Asim.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 11

11. Elizabeth Alexander

Episode 11 · 21 Jan 2009

Elizabeth Alexander explains to Stephen the difference between a metaphor and a lie.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 12

12. Jon Meacham

Episode 12 · 22 Jan 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek editor and author of American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House, Jon Meacham.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 13

13. Chris Mooney, Ed Young

Episode 13 · 26 Jan 2009

Obama changes Bush's policy on science, and Ed Young thinks married people should have more sex.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 14

14. Philippe Petit

Episode 14 · 27 Jan 2009

Documentary, "Man on Wire"

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 15

15. Paul McCartney, Denis Dutton

Episode 15 · 28 Jan 2009
The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 16

16. John Podesta

Episode 16 · 29 Jan 2009

President and CEO, Center for American Progress

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 17

17. Dan Zaccagnino

Episode 17 · 2 Feb 2009

The government collapses in Iceland, and Stephen gets mad at Dan Zaccagnino.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 18

18. Henry Louis Gates Jr.

Episode 18 · 3 Feb 2009

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 19

19. Steve Martin

Episode 19 · 4 Feb 2009

Actor, "The Pink Panther 2"

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 20

20. James Surowiecki, Jonah Lehrer

Episode 20 · 5 Feb 2009

Stephen salutes the Boy Scouts, and Jonah Lehrer discusses the neuroscience of decision-making.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 21

21. TV on the Radio

Episode 21 · 9 Feb 2009

Stephen welcomes musical guest TV On The Radio.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 22

22. Robert Ballard

Episode 22 · 10 Feb 2009

It's tough times for the Republican Party, and Stephen gives a shout out to a former employee.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 23

23. Eleanor Holmes Norton, Steven Pinker

Episode 23 · 11 Feb 2009

New York Times article, "My Genomic Self"

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 24

24. David Ross, Ed Colbert, Adam Gopnik

Episode 24 · 12 Feb 2009

Adam Gopnik claims that faith and fear no longer rule our lives because of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 25

25. Father James Martin, Helen Fisher

Episode 25 · 23 Feb 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief scientific advisor for chemistry.com, anthropology professor and author of Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type, Helen Fisher.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 26

26. Cliff Sloan

Episode 26 · 24 Feb 2009

Cliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 27

27. John Fetterman

Episode 27 · 25 Feb 2009

Mayor John Fetterman believes Braddock, PA is a great place to spend some of the stimulus money.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 28

28. Kris Kristofferson

Episode 28 · 26 Feb 2009

Stephen wants to know how Kris Kristofferson can be a country musician and a liberal at the same time.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 29

29. David Byrne

Episode 29 · 2 Mar 2009

Late at night, who does David Byrne fear David Byrne is?

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 30

30. Mark Bittman

Episode 30 · 3 Mar 2009

President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 31

31. Carl Wilson

Episode 31 · 4 Mar 2009

Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love" and will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 32

32. Steven Johnson

Episode 32 · 5 Mar 2009

Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 33

33. Lisa Hannigan

Episode 33 · 9 Mar 2009

Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 34

34. William Gerstenmaier, Dr. Jay Keasling

Episode 34 · 10 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes microbiologist and member of the Joint BioEnergy Institute, Dr. Jay Keasling. Also Stephen talks with NASA's associate administrator for space operations Bill Gerstenmaier about the Kepler Probe and other space exploration.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 35

35. Howard Fineman

Episode 35 · 11 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek correspondent and author of 'The Thirteen American Arguments: Enduring Debates that Define and Inspire Our Country', Howard Fineman.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 36

36. Simon Johnson, Peter Singer

Episode 36 · 12 Mar 2009

Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 37

37. Jonathan Chait, Neil Gaiman

Episode 37 · 16 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Graveyard Book'.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 38

38. David Grann

Episode 38 · 17 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon'.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 39

39. Juan Cole

Episode 39 · 18 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'Engaging the Muslim World'.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 40

40. John McCardell

Episode 40 · 19 Mar 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the president of Choose Responsibility.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 41

41. Derrick Pitts

Episode 41 · 30 Mar 2009

The guest tonight is Derrick Pitts, Chief Astronomer at The Franklin Institute.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 42

42. David Plotz

Episode 42 · 31 Mar 2009

David Plotz, Author of 'Good Book LP' talks to Stephen tonight.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 43

43. Dambisa Moyo

Episode 43 · 1 Apr 2009

Author of "Dead Aid", Dambisa Moyo is the guest on tonight's show.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 44

44. Biz Stone

Episode 44 · 2 Apr 2009

One of the co-founders of Twitter is the guest for tonight's show.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 45

45. Tom Brokaw, Rich Lowry

Episode 45 · 6 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the co-author of Banquo's Ghosts, Rich Lowry.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 46

46. Queen Noor

Episode 46 · 7 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Jordan's Queen Noor.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 47

47. Phil Bronstein

Episode 47 · 8 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the editor at large for the San Francisco Chronicle, Phil Bronstein.

48. Bart Ehrman

Episode 48 · 9 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Bible expert and author of Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them), Bart Ehrman.

49. Sunita L. Williams, Susie Orbach

Episode 49 · 14 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes psychotherapist and author of Bodies, Susie Orbach. Also, Stephen talks with NASA's Deputy Chief, Astronaut Office at the Johnson Space Center, Sunita Williams about the naming of the new node on the International Space Station.

50. Jim Lehrer

Episode 50 · 15 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the anchor of PBS' NewsHour and author of Oh, Jonny, Jim Lehrer.

51. Kanishk Tharoor, Doug Kmiec

Episode 51 · 16 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the former head of the Office of Legal Council for both President Reagan and George Bush Sr., and author of Can a Catholic Support Him? Asking the Big Questions about Barack Obama, Doug Kmiec. Also, Stephen talks with the associate editor for opendemocracy.net, Kanishk Tharoor.

52. Ken Quinn, Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Episode 52 · 20 Apr 2009

Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.

53. Coach Mike Kryzewski

Episode 53 · 21 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen talks with Duke University men's basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski.

54. Ira Glass

Episode 54 · 22 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen talks with host of This American Life, Ira Glass.

55. Elizabeth Bintliff

Episode 55 · 23 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the West Africa Program Officer for Heifer International, Elizabeth Bintliff.

56. The Decemberists

Episode 56 · 27 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes musical group The Decemberists.

57. David Gross

Episode 57 · 28 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes journalist and author of 'Dumb Money: How Our Greatest Financial Minds Bankrupted the Nation', Daniel Gross. Also, Stephen talks with war correspondent Richard Engel.

58. David Kessler

Episode 58 · 29 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes former FDA commissioner and author of The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, David Kessler.

59. Jonathan Alter, Ethan Nadelman

Episode 59 · 30 Apr 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the founder and executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, Ethan Nadlemann.

60. J.J. Abrams

Episode 60 · 4 May 2009

The Prescott Group needs a bailout, and J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery.

61. Cliff Sloan, Paul Rieckhoff

Episode 61 · 5 May 2009

Cliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law and Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.

62. Laurie Garrett

Episode 62 · 6 May 2009

President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.

63. Mitchell Joachim

Episode 63 · 7 May 2009

It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.

64. Jeff Daniels

Episode 64 · 11 May 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes actor Jeff Daniels Also, Stephen talks with the vice president of policy at Demos.org, Tamara Draut about credit cart reform.

65. Ron Howard

Episode 65 · 12 May 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the producer & director of Angels & Demons, Ron Howard. Also, Stephen talks with the head of Latin American Division of the Council on Foreign Relations, Julia Sweig about Cuba.

66. Michael Pollan

Episode 66 · 13 May 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, Michael Pollan.

67. Yusuf Islam

Episode 67 · 14 May 2009

Donald Trump allows Miss California to keep her crown, the DonorsChoose competition continues, and Yusuf performs.

68. Meghan McCain

Episode 68 · 18 May 2009

Meghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.

69. Walter Kirn

Episode 69 · 19 May 2009

Republicans find a way to make us love them again, and a Difference Maker stands up to the government.

70. Seth Shostak

Episode 70 · 20 May 2009

Torture memo author John Yoo gets a newspaper column, and Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her.

71. Green Day

Episode 71 · 21 May 2009

Stephen reveals most of the Indian election results, and Green Day talks about their album, "21st Century Breakdown."

72. Jeffrey Toobin, Sen. Byron Dorgan

Episode 72 · 1 Jun 2009

Republicans could lose their Latino voter, and you can see Stephen's Persian Gulf destination from Sarah Palin's house.

73. Katty Kay

Episode 73 · 2 Jun 2009

The FDA challenges medical claims made by Cheerios, and Jim Moran protects kids from erectile dysfunction advertising.

74. Eric Schlosser

Episode 74 · 3 Jun 2009

California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.

75. Dag Soderberg, David Byrne

Episode 75 · 4 Jun 2009

Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 76

76. General Raymond Odierno

Episode 76 · 8 Jun 2009

General Ray Odierno steps up to the plate to be Stephen’s first guest in Iraq.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 77

77. Specialist Tareq Salha, Sgt. Robin Balcom

Episode 77 · 9 Jun 2009

Stephen welcomes Sergeant Robin Balcom and Specialist Tareq Salha to his international desk of wisdom and truthiness.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 78

78. Lieutenant General Charles Jacoby

Episode 78 · 10 Jun 2009

Tom Hanks and Stephen prepare a care package, and Charles H. Jacoby Jr. picks his favorite soldier.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 79

79. Stephen broadcasts from Iraq, Command Sgt. Major Frank Grippe

Episode 79 · 11 Jun 2009

George W. Bush praises the troops, and Frank A. Grippe orders his officers to sing the Army song.

80. Austan Goolsbee

Episode 80 · 15 Jun 2009

Stephen gives advice to the next leader of North Korea, and asks Austan Goolsbee if his arm gets tired from throwing money at problems.

81. Karim Sadjadpour, Jim Rogers

Episode 81 · 16 Jun 2009

According to polls, 120% say the Iranian election wasn't rigged, and Jim Rogers wants to reduce Duke Energy's carbon footprint.

82. Joshua Micah Marshall

Episode 82 · 17 Jun 2009

Sonia Sotomayor belongs to an exclusive women's-only club, and Joshua Micah Marshall won't be doing the pointing and talking.

83. Paul Muldoon

Episode 83 · 18 Jun 2009

Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.

84. Simon Schama

Episode 84 · 22 Jun 2009

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.

85. Howard Dean, David Kilcullen

Episode 85 · 23 Jun 2009

David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.

86. Matthew Crawford

Episode 86 · 24 Jun 2009

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.

87. Jim Fouratt

Episode 87 · 25 Jun 2009

ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.

88. Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Episode 88 · 29 Jun 2009

Neil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.

89. Alexi Lalas, Kevin Mattson

Episode 89 · 30 Jun 2009

Stephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.

90. Nicholas Kristof

Episode 90 · 1 Jul 2009

The Supreme Court takes its recess, and Nicholas Kristof discusses "It's Time to Learn From Frogs" after crossing five lanes of busy traffic.

91. Ed Viesturs

Episode 91 · 2 Jul 2009

Congress passes a renewable energy bill, and climber Ed Viesturs scales Stephen's ego.

92. Paul Rieckhoff, Paul Krugman

Episode 92 · 13 Jul 2009

The Sotomayor confirmation hearings begin, and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman knows a lot about money.

93. Leymah Gbowee

Episode 93 · 14 Jul 2009

Stephen suggests looking for change in the folds of Barney Frank, and asks Leymah Gbowee where Liberia is.

94. Douglas Rushkoff

Episode 94 · 15 Jul 2009

There's bad news for people with target-shaped birthmarks, and Douglas Rushkoff lets Jews and Freemasons off the hook.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 95

95. Edmund Andrews

Episode 95 · 16 Jul 2009

Stephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 96

96. Geoffrey Canada, Bob Park

Episode 96 · 20 Jul 2009

Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized and Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 97

97. Dr. Aaron Carroll

Episode 97 · 21 Jul 2009

Stephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 98

98. Matthew Waxman, Chris Anderson

Episode 98 · 22 Jul 2009

The truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.

99. Zev Chafets

Episode 99 · 23 Jul 2009

The British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 100

100. Movits!

Episode 100 · 27 Jul 2009

A report on tasers may shock you, and Swedish band Movits! helps Stephen put his Ikea futon together

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 101

101. Arianna Huffington

Episode 101 · 28 Jul 2009

Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 102

102. Kevin Baker

Episode 102 · 29 Jul 2009

Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 103

103. Kathryn Bigelow

Episode 103 · 30 Jul 2009

Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 104

104. General Anthony Zinni

Episode 104 · 3 Aug 2009

President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 105

105. Kurt Andersen

Episode 105 · 4 Aug 2009

According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 106

106. Kris Kobach

Episode 106 · 5 Aug 2009

Kris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 107

107. Meryl Streep

Episode 107 · 6 Aug 2009

Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 108

108. Sen. Barbara Boxer

Episode 108 · 10 Aug 2009

Vladimir Putin returns to the spotlight, and Stephen interviews Barbara Boxer with deaf suspicion.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 109

109. Jonathan Cohn

Episode 109 · 11 Aug 2009

Afghanistan prepares for Bring Your Rocket Launcher to Work Day, and Jonathan Cohn explains why America's having a health care crisis.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 110

110. Mark Johnson

Episode 110 · 12 Aug 2009

Americans speak Glenn Beck's mind at town hall meetings, and Mark Johnson spreads peace through music.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 111

111. Mark Devlin

Episode 111 · 13 Aug 2009

Glenn Beck loses his sponsors, and Mark Devlin uses giant balloons to life telescopes to the edge of space.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 112

112. Bill McKibben

Episode 112 · 17 Aug 2009

Reporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 113

113. Robert Wright

Episode 113 · 18 Aug 2009
The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 114

114. Ang Lee

Episode 114 · 19 Aug 2009

Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 115

115. Chris Matthews

Episode 115 · 20 Aug 2009

The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 116

116. Cory Booker

Episode 116 · 14 Sept 2009

The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 117

117. Christiane Amanpour

Episode 117 · 15 Sept 2009

Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 118

118. Tony Danza

Episode 118 · 16 Sept 2009

Obama indoctrinates America's school children, Tucker Carlson reveals Muslims' influence on textbooks, and The Flaming Lips perform.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 119

119. Frank Bruni

Episode 119 · 17 Sept 2009

Stephen resurrects the U.S. military technique of staring at a goats and Frank Bruni talks about mastering his addiction to compulsive eating as a food critic for the New York Times.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 120

120. Tue, Sep 22, 2009

Episode 120 · 22 Sept 2009

The Senate votes to allow guns on trains, and Shai Agassi wants us all to drive electric cars.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 121

121. AJ Jacobs

Episode 121 · 23 Sept 2009

AJ Jacobs' life experiments include following all the rules of the Bible, trying to be the most rational person alive and radical honesty.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 122

122. Ken Burns

Episode 122 · 24 Sept 2009

The Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 123

123. Sheryl WuDunn

Episode 123 · 28 Sept 2009

Sheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 124

124. Matt Latimer / Out Of The Closet

Episode 124 · 29 Sept 2009

An exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 125

125. Wed, Sep 30, 2009

Episode 125 · 30 Sept 2009

Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 126

126. Francis Collins

Episode 126 · 1 Oct 2009

Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 127

127. Arne Duncan

Episode 127 · 5 Oct 2009

President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 128

128. The Mountain Goats

Episode 128 · 6 Oct 2009

The Mountain Goats perform "Psalms 40:2" from their album, "The Life of the World to Come."

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 129

129. Alison Gopnik

Episode 129 · 7 Oct 2009

Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 130

130. Thu, Oct 8, 2009

Episode 130 · 8 Oct 2009

The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 131

131. Shashi Tharoor, Dr. Sanjay Gupta

Episode 131 · 12 Oct 2009

Stephen takes on Norwegians for giving Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, plays tennis with James Blake and talks zombies with Sanjay Gupta.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 132

132. David Javerbaum, Sylvia Earle

Episode 132 · 13 Oct 2009

Stephen posts Twitter updates on Miley Cyrus, talks fetuses with David Javerbaum and asks Sylvia Earle why he should care about the ocean.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 133

133. Amy Farrell, The RZA

Episode 133 · 14 Oct 2009

Stephen gets angry over health care reform, discusses obesity with Amy Farrell, and talks wisdom with the RZA.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 134

134. Jerry Mitchell

Episode 134 · 15 Oct 2009

Stephen proves that mayo is the illest condiment, asks Jerry Mitchell what a newspaper reporter is and unveils his new portrait.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 135

135. Cornel West

Episode 135 · 26 Oct 2009

Stephen criticizes Washington State, endorses your job application and disagrees with everything Cornel West stands for.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 136

136. Tue, Oct 27, 2009

Episode 136 · 27 Oct 2009

The Catholic Church reaches out to former members, and Gail Collins talks about the modern American woman.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 137

137. Brian Cox

Episode 137 · 28 Oct 2009

Stephen finds out what broke the largest particle accelerator and preps for his interview with Brian Cox by watching "Baby Einstein" tapes.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 138

138. Bill Simmons

Episode 138 · 29 Oct 2009

Stephen talks to Rosanne Cash about torturing detainees with music and discusses "Teen Wolf" with Bill Simmons.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 139

139. Nicholas Thompson

Episode 139 · 2 Nov 2009

Stephen sponsors the U.S. speedskating team, analyzes Arnold Schwarzenegger's breakfast and disputes the end of the Cold War with Nicholas Thompson.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 140

140. Andrew Sullivan

Episode 140 · 3 Nov 2009

Stephen makes history with the U.S. Speedskating team, covers a gay couple's arrest on Mormon Church property and wants Andrew Sullivan to admit he's wrong.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 141

141. Harold Evans

Episode 141 · 4 Nov 2009

Stephen declares Barack Obama the loser, gets dunked in water by Al Gore and asks Harold Evans if he's going to be a chimney sweep.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 142

142. Thu, Nov 5, 2009

Episode 142 · 5 Nov 2009

Stephen puts Canada on notice with Joey Cheek, introduces Vaxaconda and talks to William Bratton about McGruff the Crime Dog.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 143

143. Mon, Nov 9, 2009

Episode 143 · 9 Nov 2009

Stephen asks Mike Castle why he can't marry a chicken, helps Katherine Reutter win a gold medal, and talks art with Thomas Campbell.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 144

144. Maria Shriver

Episode 144 · 10 Nov 2009

Stephen defends Barney Frank for not recognizing marijuana, enjoys a Taser XREP ad and feeds ice cream to Maria Shriver.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 145

145. Christopher Caldwell

Episode 145 · 11 Nov 2009

Stephen believes bankers are God's representatives, criticizes "Sesame Street" and asks Christopher Caldwell where the Muslim pope is.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 146

146. Woody Harrelson

Episode 146 · 12 Nov 2009

Stephen uses Miracle Whip money to buy mayo, claims Lou Dobbs' audience and shaves Woody Harrelson's head.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 147

147. Mon, Nov 16, 2009

Episode 147 · 16 Nov 2009

Stephen shows Barack Obama how to greet foreign leaders, offers to sing in Aerosmith, and discusses architecture with Paul Goldberger.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 148

148. Malcolm Gladwell

Episode 148 · 17 Nov 2009

Stephen talks to Marc Kielburger about child labor, skateboards with Jackie Speier and asks Malcolm Gladwell to explain a New Yorker cartoon.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 149

149. Norah Jones

Episode 149 · 18 Nov 2009

Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 150

150. Thu, Nov 19, 2009

Episode 150 · 19 Nov 2009

The Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery, and Elvis Costello plays "Cheap Reward" with Stephen.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 151

151. Dan Esty, Cevin Soling

Episode 151 · 30 Nov 2009

Stephen talks to Dan Esty about global warming, forces Joseph Cirincione to play "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" and compares school to prison with Cevin Soling

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 152

152. Tue, Dec 1, 2009

Episode 152 · 1 Dec 2009

Stephen profiles a made-up district, discusses alien Jesus with Guy Consolmagno and helps Sherman Alexie save part of white culture

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 153

153. Wed, Dec 2, 2009

Episode 153 · 2 Dec 2009

Stephen critiques President Obama's speech, presents a device that lets him poop whenever he wants, and questions Craig Watson's innocence

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 154

154. Thu, Dec 3, 2009

Episode 154 · 3 Dec 2009

Stephen covers Tiger Woods' car crash, tries out for the U.S. skeleton team and talks to Janet Napolitano about the color-coded threat level.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 155

155. Mon, Dec 7, 2009

Episode 155 · 7 Dec 2009

Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 156

156. Senator Bernie Sanders, Andy Schlafly

Episode 156 · 8 Dec 2009

Stephen gives Bernie Sanders a chance to address the vicious socialist rumors and discusses the best of the public with Andy Schlafly.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 157

157. Wed, Dec 9, 2009

Episode 157 · 9 Dec 2009

Stephen appeals to the monkey demographic, gets a visit from Krampus and calls out Goldman Sachs with Matt Taibbi.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 158

158. Thu, Dec 10, 2009

Episode 158 · 10 Dec 2009

Stephen details Russia's battle plan for Afghanistan, tries out for the U.S. bobsled team and puts words in Lara Logan's mouth.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 159

159. Snoop Dogg

Episode 159 · 14 Dec 2009

Stephen interviews President Obama's cardboard cutout, signs Katherine Reutter's thigh and pre-censors Snoop Dogg.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 160

160. Alicia Keys

Episode 160 · 15 Dec 2009

John Slattery sells gold, Stephen relays the story of Treesus, and Alicia Keys performs her hit song.

The Colbert Report Season 5 episode 161

161. Tom Brokaw

Episode 161 · 16 Dec 2009

Stephen encourages Tiger Woods, sees the ghost of Stephen King and remembers the wacky decade with Tom Brokaw.