1. The Big Match
Daily mundanities and a vanload of drunken Scotsmen conspire to keep Spooner from watching a key football match.
Spooner's Patch — Series 3
2. The Lock-Up
Taking a thrashing from Bulsover during a self-defence lesson that he foolishly instigated, Spooner starts fiddling with a pair of hand cuffs...
3. Finders, Keepers...!
Bulsover finds a locked briefcase whilst cleaning out a squad car. They find out it's full of jewellery, but who does it belong to?
4. The Sting
Spooner is seduced by the bright lights of showbiz when a producer asks for his help in the making of a new film.
5. Suffer the Little Children...
Spooner meets his match when a young boy turns up at the police station on his mother's orders.
6. Vote, Mrs Cantaford
Mrs Cantaford tries to curtail Spooner's despotic activities by running for councillor on a 'get rid of filth' ticket.
7. Police Intelligence
Extreme bordedom drives everyone to distraction and forces Spooner to fear for Bulsover's sanity.