1. White Mages are Jerks
The best defense is a crappy offense.
Dorkly Bits — Season 2
2. Mega Man Needs To Go
To be the number 1 robot, you need a place to go number 2.
3. Mortal Kombat Friendship
The greatest thing one friend can do for another is not murder him.
4. Lifeguard Mario
No holding down B in the pool area.
5. The Mario Bros. Go Halfsies
Sharing is caring. Unfortunately, caring won't help you much in videogames.
6. Mortal Kombat Pervert
Every ninja's dream: two girls at the same time.
7. Mario Paint Torture
Don't even get him started on Creed.
8. Excitebike Shop
Overheating is radical.
9. Double Dragon Girlfriend
8 bit blood is thicker than 8 bit water.
10. Castlevania S&M
It's hard to beat a boss when he's into it.
11. Angry Birds Friendship
Angry birds and pigs have a lot in common. For example, neither can fly for some reason.
12. Sonic's Gambling Problem
What happens in Casino Night Zone stays in Casino Night Zone.
13. Resident Evil Roommate
This is what happens when you find a roommate on Craigslist in Raccoon City.
14. Crashing the Silent Protagonist Party
He was the least and most annoying bandicoot at the party.
15. White Mage Dad is Racist
Guess who's being randomly encountered for dinner.
16. The Koopa King's Speech
He's a t-t-t-t-terrifying ruler.
17. Metal Gear Solid Box Trouble
18. Rejected Sega Intros
He'd be a great voiceover artist if he didn't have to read or talk.
19. Everybody Hates Crono
They'll do anything to save him. As long as it's not too much work.
20. King Hippo Disgraces Hippo People
21. Cammy's Dad (Street Fighter)
If she's going to street fight, she'd better do it like a proper lady.
22. Chargin' Chuck Gets Picked Last
He's game ready. And really, really desperate.
23. The Horrible Secret Behind Starter Pokemon
This is almost as cruel as keeping them in a tiny ball.
24. Kazooie is Kidnapped
Living in a backpack is the least of her worries.
25. Final Fantasy Cover Bard
We'd use the sprites from Final Fantasy 1, but he doesn't do originals.
26. The Mushroom King
"Thank you, father! But our respectable suitor is in another castle.
27. Robotnik Breaks Down
Never buy a pre-owned drillcar.
28. Ken Gets Excited
He's a master of the "Hadouken" and "Waistband" technique.
29. Doodle Jump Fall
The higher they jump, the farther they fall. And fall. And fall.
30. Link's Death
Our heart containers go out to his family.
31. Ice Climbers Cliffhanger
He had his whole extra life ahead of him.
32. Mario's Horrifying Discovery
What happens in the warp zone, stays in the warp zone.
33. Rampage Apology
Forgive and forget. Unless they just punched through a skyscraper.
34. Mario With A Portal Gun
The shortest distance between two objects is a straight line. Or a portal.
35. Ecco's Friends Are Stupid Dolphins
They say dolphins are only slightly less intelligent than humans. And humans are pretty dumb.
36. Donkey Kong Doesn't Back Down
You shouldn't run away from your problems, especially if you can beat them in a fight.
37. Sheik Crashes a Bachelor Party
You don't need the tri-force of wisdom to realize this won't turn out well.
38. Noob Saibot is a Noob
He's gonna kick your ass. Right after he reads the move-list.
39. Angry Birds vs. Tiny Wings
Imitation is the sincerest form of ornithology.
40. How Blinky Died
He's got a few ghost skeletons in his closet.
41. Mario Goes Down The Wrong Pipe
No free coins. No extra lives. The only way out is the reset button.
42. Mortal Kombat Sitcom
They're going to kill you....
43. Captain America Uses Drugs
He's as American as apple pie injected with super steroids.
44. Starcraft SCVs Go On Strike
Not enough minerals? MINE THEM YOURSELF.
45. The Diablo Townspeople Should Move
You'd be amazed at how much living next to Hell will affect your property value.
46. Kung Lao's Hat is Dull
The only thing worse than having your head chopped off is having your head mostly chopped off.
47. Mario Meets With His Agent
He'll take you to the next level for just 10% of your coins.
48. Sim City Monster Hates Your City
I think we can all agree that gridlock is the real monster here.
49. Contra Henchman Strategy
They're not the best strategists, but they'll run at you like nobody's business.
50. Mario Dumps Pauline
"It's not you, it's me....and the fact that you're not a princess.
51. Plants vs. Zombies Wall-nut Gets Bitten
Teamwork is infectious.
52. If Classic Games Had DLC
Back in my day, fireflowers were only a nickel.
53. Link to the Past with a Portal Gun
When life gives you the Triforce, make Triforce grenades.
54. Sonic Meets With His Agent
The fastest thing alive meets the smoothest talker alive.
55. Falco Adjusts His Attitude
"Gee, I've been saved by therapy. How swell.
56. Ghosts 'n Goblins Blacksmith
57. Inbred Yoshi
His face has a lot of character. Horrible, deformed character.
58. Koopa Troopa Does Stand-up Comedy
Even seasoned comedians occasionally bob-omb.
59. Samus Meets With Her Agent
Behind every great woman there's an awful man trying to get her in a bikini.
60. Mega Man With a Portal Gun
Dr. Wily wants him gone.
61. Sonic Wasn't Fast Enough
Speed runs save lives.
62. Dr. Light's Gift to Mega Man X
It's better to give than to receive a terrible present.
63. Mortal Kombat Sitcom: Shao Kahn Comes to Dinner
64. Chill Penguin is Chill
He's not big on using shotgun ice, but he's always down to shotgun Natty Ice.
65. Tifa Embarrasses Barret
It's not the size of your gun arm that counts, it's how you use it.
66. Tails Can't Die
One fox, two tails, unlimited lives.
67. Smash Bros. Fatalities
The ESRB may have to reevaluate their rating.
68. Mega Man X Charges Too Much
If at first you don't succeed, destroy everything.
69. Judgmental Mortal Kombat
Nothing's more dangerous than stereotyping. Except maybe Goro.
70. A Boy and his Blob Reunion
You don't need jelly beans to transform into a productive member of society.
71. Luigi Wears Red
Imitation is the sincerest form of douchebaggery.
72. Captain Falcon Can't Get Insurance
That's the last time he'll drive while eating Falcon Lunch.
73. Diddy Kong Country
Player 2 has Player 1 aspirations.
74. NBA Lockout Jam
The only dunking he's doing involves cookies and milk.
75. Bahamut Wants to Hang Out
You will rue the day you summoned him.
76. Mistaken Hero Identities
77. Mario's Mushroom Mix-up
Doubling in size instantly is bad for your health.
78. NES Ninja Turtles Theme Song
These Dorkly boys don't cut em' no slack.
79. Robotnik Finally Wins
This isn't the game over he asked for.
80. Mario is a Furry
If you wear a raccoon tail long enough, people are gonna get the wrong idea.
81. The Frogger Menace
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And gigantic, car-sized frogs.
82. Bastion Narrator Invades Other Games
Initializing raspy voice mode...
83. Vision Wants to be in the Avengers Movie
You've got to draw the line somewhere. Preferably behind the badass laser robot.
84. Double Dragon Dad
It's called tough love. Very, very tough love.
86. Chrono Trigger Time Travel Mix-Up
Don't cross the (time) streams.
87. Mario Responds to PETA
No animals were harmed in the making of the Tanooki suit.
88. Link's Yard Sale
Nothing like a little Spring inventory cleaning.
89. Gordon Freeman Meets With His Agent
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out with your shrill, horrible voice.
90. Boos Man Up
Night of the living dread.
91. Spy Hunter Pranksters
Never trust the guy in the van.
92. How Diablo Destroyed Tristram
93. Pac-Man Plays Skyrim
Psh, you can talk to your family anytime.
94. QWOP Guy Has Sex
It's all in the limbs.
95. The Night Before Mario's Christmas
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Mouser.
96. It's a Wonderful Extra Life
A toast to Luigi: The richest Player 2 in town.